Redefine your smart phone experience!


Introducing the Asus Zenfone 2

As a Asus user (Laptop), i’m pretty much impress with this brand, or to say well, i’m pretty much impress with it’s design: Sleek

I think when Someone goes to get a phone, they usually will first look at the overview of the phone to see if he/she can carries the phone well, well in a sense where they will think: does the phone suits them, just like how the Top designers in the world would want the models to wear their designed clothes and carry them well, but not everyone will give that perfect feel for the designers. We are talking about an Asus Zenfone 2, the sleek design with the iconic ASUS concentric-circle design adorns both the fascia and rear key, a beautiful, tactile effect that’s achieved through precision machining – producing a mere 0.13mm pitch that looks as premium as it feels and it would definitely makes everyone carry them well.

Zenfone 2, the first ever phone in the world that has a 4GB ram.

4GB Ram powered by a 64-bit 2.3GHZ Super Quad-core Intel Atom Z3580 Processor, to put it into layman term, this phone is running at a super high speed, it means that no lagging, plenty of space to run whatever games you played on the phone. Back in our times, we use to have phone that has only 1GB Ram, and then we get disappointed that certain games are not able to run in the phone, you are able to download it, then you get real excited that: “Yes! Finally, I get to play it, and then comes the disappointment whereby your game is lagging every 1 sec since you started it.”

This generation where we called it the Z generation are so famous for it’s selfie taking, every day, every hour, every minute, every second you would see at least one selfie photo taking happening around you, with the new Asus Zenfone 2 highly intuitive control layout and most importantly the physical rear key at the back of the phone, snapping selfie has never been so natural before, regardless whether you are a left handed or right handed, the ergonomic factor Arc design has built it this way. And no more complains that the photos are not clear because Asus Zenfone2 has a front camera of 5mp while let’s say Samsung Note 4 has a 3.7mp front camera. And if you are thinking 1.3mp wouldn’t make any difference, then you are wrong. So why wait? Pick up the phone and just tap it right away.

We don’t use to have such problem complaining on how our phone is going flat, then comes the portable battery where you see others are carrying around with the phone, wires are hanging out while they are walking. What if I tell you that you can charge your phone up to 60% within 39 minutes? which means that your phone is getting charge 15% every 10 minutes. I use to have a Iphone and the charging process is taking such a long time that I gave up literally waiting. With the ASUS Boost Master technology, your battery charge faster than the traditional devices, so, simply just plug in your phone while you are in a meeting, plug in your phone once you reach home to prepare for a date, plug in your phone while you feel that it’s going to be flat, and by the time you finish doing whatsoever things, your phone will probably be fully charged.

We use to get a phone and test out the camera in the shop where lightings are everywhere, then by the time we get the phone and tries to take a photo outside which has low lightings, we realise that the image is not up to standard, it’s dark, and we can’t do anything about it but to use flash. Through a combination of pixel-merging technology, which joins four adjacent pixels to form a new pixel, and advance image processing algorithms, low light mode increases light sensitivity by up to 400% which means that the image you took in low light places, would be 400% brighter than the usual phone. Say no to flash photos in low light compound.

So what are you still waiting for? Get Asus Zenfone 2 now!



I’m learning when every project takes place

it’s been a month since I wrote something here, reason being I’m travelling a lot for the past 1 month. From attending meeting in Hyderabad to project management in Bhubaneswar and Rourkela. It’s been a tough month for me.

So i was saying that I was handling a project in Bhubaneswar and Rourkela, it’s a Immersion Programme where Singapore students visit India to study two electives. And these students happen to be from my Alma mater and they are my juniors.

12 days in Bhubaneswar, 14 days in Rourkela and 5 days in Delhi, Jaipur, Agra

But I didn’t manage the delhi project, so I was back the day before the students went to Delhi trip, so here’s my journey.


Had a presentation in Institute of Public Enterprise and I learn a lot from the Founder of our Company: Rajesh Panda. The way he portray himself in front of the student was different, he opens up to them, making them understand the importance of being a global resource.


20150310_215600 20150310_220203

In the evening we had a small break at a place named: Heart cup coffee, I know the name sound like a cafe but it’s nothing like that. The environment is nice, soothing, calm and the food was good the only thing is that the beer that we had was too pricy: Rs 500 for a 300ml beer, judge yourself people!

I too had a dream; a dream of opening up my own restaurant, what kind of restaurant? You guys must be wondering. I always imagine my restaurant to have this calm, soothing environment, it has to be mainly make out of wood structure, having my own brew, showcasing all my mum’s recipe in the menu and most importantly a stage for unplugged Hindi songs. So who’s in to open a restaurant with me? My two housemate: Dev and Hardic definitely, unconditionally raise their hand if I ask them, they were they one who suggested me for the past one month.

 23 Hours drive from Hyderabad – Vizag – Bhubaneswar

20150311_071104 20150311_071117

20150311_063522 20150311_061243

So, a long and tiring journey ahead for us! Yes, you didn’t read it wrongly, My boss actually drove 23 hours from Hyderabad Via Vizag to Bhubaneswar! You can imagine how painful my butt was! We simply had to experience it once isn’t it? And how often can we have a road trip like this?


And finally we reached our destination: Bhubaneswar @ Empires Hotel the day before the students’ arrival from Singapore via Delhi

It’s my first time here in this hotel, previously when I manage the students in Bhubaneswar we stayed in Sun green hotel, a hotel near Big bazaar area. So what’s so good about this hotel? This hotel is bigger than the previous hotel we stayed in, environment wise, it’s clean and having a traditional look just makes people feel like they are in India. They have a swimming pool at the top level which I think wouldn’t accommodate all the guests if all of the guests in the hotel visit it all at once. They have a so call gym at the top level beside the swimming pool which accommodates I think 5 people and massage service is available with only 1 masseur, so tell me about it how I enjoy my stay there?

Okay, at least the food there was good, but good food comes with a expensive cost.

Wifi is available at Rs 500 per day, which connection gets cut every 5-10 minutes, net speed is slower than my 2G net package in my phone, perhaps they are using 0G, I got no idea how anyone can provide a service that is so bad and still charge. If you guys are staying there, I would recommend you to just use that money to get a 3G network in your phone or even better, get a dongle.

20150314_173046 20150314_171934

20150314_171925 20150314_171923

Okay, fine, at least the swimming pool looks really nice, it gave me a ‘Delhi 6’ movie scene feel when I visit the swimming pool, who knows someone may use this place as movie scene, you guys can thank me later.


Can’t help but took a panorama photo at the top level, the security guard over there must be wondering why am I turning one big round with my phone.


And here we go, our first Industry visit to Tech Mahindra in Bhubaneswar, okay, it’s not my first visit, I have been here for the 4th time even way before they changed their name to ‘Tech Mahindra’. I like this place, it’s a place where dreams do come true, I like their concept, especially their concept of Young ‘CEO’ when they shared with the students from Singapore and not forgetting a group photos with the presenters from Tech Mahindra and their newly built building at the background with the Logo ‘TECH Mahindra’.

20150315_142748  20150315_142815  20150315_142744

Okay, I’m caught red handed, I’m enjoying myself on the beach at Bay of Bengal, Puri. We brought the students to Chilika lake to look for dolphins and then to the Puri Beach to enjoy the big wave!

More information on Puri Beach:

20150315_151302 20150315_151412

20150315_151516 20150315_151518

20150315_164220 20150315_161309 20150315_161247

On the boat back to where we came from after a hot afternoon on the lake and the beach. The sun that is setting gives the water a reflection of it’s diamond glaze.

Konark Temple

My fourth time visiting the Konark temple and I think that the price range is so unfair, I know there’s a difference between Indian and tourist price but to have India origin priced at Rs 10 and tourist at Rs 250 that’s a freaking 25 times more. At least have some leniency on the poor tourists.

Anyway, If you are here in Bhubaneswar, it’s a must visit place! But don’t expect the magnetised floating temple, because that existed hundred years ago.

IMG_9485 IMG_9496

IMG_9499 IMG_9523

IMG_9525 IMG_9542

IMG_9550 IMG_9572


I went to Rourkela two days before their arrival to settle on the accommodation in National Institute of Technology Rourkela, and also to prepare one of Singapore delicacy for them: Chicken Rice, having that thinking that they probably are missing the food in Singapore.




At least I did manage to make the ‘Aachar’ that every one recognise, and the chicken was smooth enough after the 3 hours of ‘Cold’ bath and the soup was indulge with chicken flavour after using 6 chicken to cook it.

Students experience Rangoli for the first time in India

The students are here like I said for an Immersion programme, and experiencing the culture in India is part of the curriculum and that too for learning Rangoli in NITRKL.




Not forgetting to mention the firecracker experience for all of them. It’s illegal to play with firecracker in Singapore, ever since the fire outbreak in the olden times (as houses were built by straws and not bricks) and other injuries accident that is related to firecrackers, firecrackers is banned in Singapore. It is only during festive/national event, under supervision, and by the government, that we get to see and not play with firecrackers.





Death of our Founding father

We are all in India when our founding prime minister #Lee Kuan Yew has passed away, and nothing much we can do about it, we could not abandon our programme and send the students back to Singapore. All we can do is to create a memorial session for him in India on the state funeral day 290315.

Everyone was feeling really sad, especially when you are not in your own country to do that, even I lost the chance to see him one last time. Without him, Singapore wouldn’t be so developed, without him Singapore wouldn’t have last this long, Without him Singapore wouldn’t have their own water, it’s because of his far vision that Singapore has become a 1st world country.








This time round, I’m not really satisfied with my management, in terms of programme were cancelled, didn’t manage to get permission to one of the Industrial visit, schedule being ‘hijacked’ by whatsoever reason, I felt that I can do better in that, but me doing better is one thing, but if whatsoever people that is coordinating with me is not doing the same thing, I feel that it will not work. You see, it takes two hands to clap, how can I manage everything?

I understand one thing after all the management projects: Not everyone is cut out to be a coordinator, it takes passion, you don’t ask for monetary in return, you have to do it unconditionally, we complain because we want them to improve, if you can’t even accept the feedback which is also the fact, then how can you grow as a institution?

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.
#Winston Churchill

In order to excel, you must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport. You must also be prepared to work hard and be willing to accept constructive criticism. Without one-hundred percent dedication, you won’t be able to do this.
#Willie Mays

Just like how Willie Mays had said: You must be completely dedicated to your chosen sport and for what I’m sharing it is the dedication to your chosen role, if you are not prepared to work hard for it, and keeps on telling that things is not possible, it’s impossible, then I can tell you that you will not go far in your life, and to not do things just because you are scared of taking the responsibility, well, I’ve got nothing much to say about being that way, you are just not the cut out for the roles.






I’m a very emotional person and I hate bidding farewell, it’s not a very long time with these guys, but the bond has been built and this bond will stay forever in my heart.

On the very day of our leaving, all of them came to hug us goodbye, tears were floating around my eyes, I didn’t want to let them see it, I really can’t bear to leave them, they are like our children, taking care of them, not letting them fall sick even though I fall sick during the trip with them, getting worried if one goes missing, locating the best restaurant for them just so they will like the food here in India, all this things, It’s really hard to manage, and then I realise, my parents has been doing that for me all these years, and I can really understand from their shoe how bad I was.


My tears rolled down my cheek as I boarded the train, having a stack of cards and photos given by them to me and my colleague, we both were crying while reading it (只差没抱在一起). All this messages:

Thank you Gary, if not for you, we wouldn’t know how we can enjoy our trip
Thank you Gary for bringing us to many good places
Thank you Gary for taking care of us, we will miss you!
Thank you Gary for cooking for us, we won’t forget you.

You don’t need any monetary return, and I don’t need that, because being appreciate for all the hard work that you had done, that’s really enough for me.

Simple things that make you happy

I think that the simple things that make me happy are those small little things that friends are willing to do for you.

When I had a cut on my foot, friends will do everything to stop you from bleeding, if you tell them you will clean yourself and they said: “No, Sit down and I will clean for you.” This is what makes me happy, this simple things just prove the friendship that we both have.

When I’m feeling sad and crying, they will be the one that comes to you, slapped you real hard, then hugged you and tell you that everything is gonna be alright. They will be there for you, and they will have their shoulder ready for you to cry on.

When things doesn’t go the right way, they are there to make you feel right, if not, they will make sure that they will do something to make you feel right.

When you feel that you need some advice, they will be the one that to listen to you meticulously and then give you advice that you don’t even know it existed.

And just when you thought that no one remember your birthday, they will be the only ones that remember them, not forgetting to wish you Happy Birthday right at midnight sharp, or surprises you at your doorstep with a birthday cake, wishing you a happy birthday with many days of return.

When you like someone, they will be the one creating opportunity for you, they would call you out for a coffee, but ended up you are the only one with him/her, or they will call you out for dinner and you ended up with the one you like.

When you break up with someone, they will be the one comforting you, giving you 101 reason why single is good even though they have been single all their life or not getting into any relationship before. They will be giving you advice that you didn’t know that it would have come from them instead of some Love Guru.

When you tell them that: “Hey bro, I’m really feeling down today, could you leave me alone.” They are the one that won’t leave you alone.” Because friends leave no one behind.

When you tell them: “Hey bro, I really feel like drinking tonight.” Without any questioning they would buy a dozen a beer and comes to your room to drink with you. And they will be by your side till dawn.

These small little simple things makes me happy, because they are not spoken in reality, everyone will have that one friend that will be with you no matter what happen, and those little things that they did, just become very important to you.



Do you have one friend that you can always depend on?

I have a really close friend, of course you guys know I’m from Singapore by now, so being alone in India, you need people’s help, you need friend.

I know him for the past 2 months and we hit off straight away, I mean there wasn’t much talking but we pretty much know what we both want.


He is from manipur, I don’t know the history of that place, but I just know that north east people mostly look like chinese, which is why they get so much discrimination on them. I really feel bad about it, bad in a sense where we are all human, then why the judgemental?


I don’t see them ask for muslim blood, or Hindu blood, or christian blood at a blood bank when they need it.

A friend is someone that has no label, regardless of gender, race, disability, age.

I still remember once when my leg was bleeding because of a cut, and I said I will put medication myself, but all he said was: “Sit down and give me your leg” and there he was, applying the lotion gently, cleaning up the wound, attending to it meticulously.

Never in my life anyone do that to me, and that too he was fierce, I can’t do anything but to hand him my leg. I was looking at him, looking through the medical box getting cotton wool and lotion, washing my wound, and when he sense my pain, he would apologise to me for inducing the pain and carry on cleaning. No one shows such meticulous care towards me, even though he may sound fierce, but I know he cares for me. This is friendship.

When I didn’t want to sit on his scooty because I know he will be late to pick up his other friend, he will force me to seat on it and fetch me home. I was touched.

He will share anything and everything with me, there’s no hiding at all, we open up to each other, and if there’s anything he will be the first to be there to listen. I was touched. Touched in a way where, he became really close to my heart, he’s a friend, but he’s a family member too.

He is always pushing me to go further in my life, telling me that everything is gonna be alright, in fact he will scold me if I feel sad or pessimistic. I’m not given any chance to feel pessimistic at all, and if I were to, he will come to me, just one hug, we don’t have to say anything, I will feel alright after. This is friendship.

How many lifetime would you wait to have such dost?


Takeaway level: Singapore

Singapore food meme

I think if I were to say I miss something in Singapore, it would probably be the food. As a Singaporean brought up and born in Singapore, we are just too use to our large variety of food, and Yes, we are famous for it.

I still remember when I was young, I use to stay at the north area, and there’s a very famous noodle stall right below my block. My mum use to bring me there, and would always order that ‘Wanton’ mee (Chinese Dumpling noodles) for me, it has this authentic taste in the noodles, even though it has disappear from that block and I have since moved out from that area, till now, I still can feel that noodle and dumpling taste right at my taste bud, it’s too memorable.

#Singapore Food is not just for eating, it creates memories

Then there was this chicken rice stall located at Redhill Market, I was later brought up by my Dadi (Grandma) when my parents divorced, and she use to bring me to the market for lunch and the chicken stall would have to queue for 1 hour to get a plate of SGD 2.50 chicken rice, I was young at that time, my dadi would use to queue up for me just to get me a plate of my favourite chicken rice, no matter how long the queue is, she will definitely get it for me. I would just sit there quietly, looking at here queue up for the awfully good chicken rice. I still remember the taste, the rice is all filled up with the pandan leaf aroma, every part of the rice is wrapped up by the chicken oil that is cooked together with the rice, the glossy look of the rice with that special aroma, it’s just too good to ignore it. And that special blended own recipe chili provided by the stall, it’s just tempt you to have more and more every day. And now, I’m old enough, when I visit my dadi (Grandma), i would up for her, and it’s her turn to sit there quietly to wait for that plate of chicken rice.

#Singapore food is part of your childhood memories

I learn how to cook from my mum at the age of 13, and ever since, i have took over the cooking role at my home, I prepare food from dumpling to dessert like Green Bean Soup, Barley bean curd egg dessert to bobo cha cha, to Wu Xiang (Spring Roll) to prawn noodles to Chicken rice, you name it, i cook it. And i’m proud to say that some of this food that I prepared were actually my own family’s recipe, or you can say Singapore very own recipe. Even though I had tried so many singapore food while growing up there, chicken rice is still my favourite food! I still remember back in 2011, when I was managing the immersion programme back in India, Students from Singapore were having India food for the past 3 weeks, and I thought I would surprise them by cooking Chicken rice in the kitchen of a College’s guest house, and there was some challenges at first. Challenges like red chilli was not available in the market so I got to get the green chilli and after it was blended, even though it taste just like the chicken rice chilli, but the chilli just look like the green chutney you see in India, or wasabi you get in Japan. Even though of all the problems, I still manage to complete cooking my chicken rice, and the students was surprise to have Singapore food in India.

#Singapore food is available every where, as long as the recipe stays in your heart



#Start A New Life

“Corporal Mo JunXiang Gary” A Officer shouted my rank and Name out on the parade square
“Yes sir” As a step forward, Salute, and march towards him

“Corporal Mo JunXiang Gary, a diligent Hub executive that has work under 3rd transport battalion for the past 2 years, he has shown great performance, good team spirit and good team cooperation in the battalion. For the past two years, he has been supporting the military and navy in their in & out field camps, important overseas exercises in Australia and Taiwan and not forgetting to mention the vehicles allocation done by him to make all exercises possible.”

As I march towards the officer, the host mentioned my background to everyone on the parade square.

“Sir” I shouted as I salute in front of him
“Corporate Gary Mo, Thank you for your service with 3rd Transport Battalion, and all the best for your future endeavour.”
“Thank you sir” I replied, receive the medal and march out of the stage

This marks the end of my National Service’s journey with the Singapore armed forces and I have finally completed my national service with 3rd transport battalion.

“Kya karoon?” I asked myself

Now that I have completed my National service, life seem so dull for me, it’s like a lost of direction. Back in the army time, we wake up every morning at 6am to do our training, 12pm sharp we will have our lunch, marches, weapon training, discipline, all this were all gone. Freedom hits me real hard this time.

Woke up as usual at 6am to prepare myself, then I realise I’m not in the bunk anymore, i’m on my cosy bed, with no restriction. I fell back on to my bed. I flipped once, but I couldn’t get back to my sleep, so I switched on my phone, scroll through the contact and see who should I contact?

Then I saw this name: “Rajesh”

I met Rajesh in 2010 through a India Immersion Programme, he’s the founder and CEO of the company that is handling our project at that time. We became really close, close in a sense where we are like son and father probably because I open myself up during the trip and I realise I learn more than anyone during the India trip.

Back in 2011 I was in the final year and I had to do a project/Internship with a company. Coming from a different background, I did several local Internship in Singapore years ago, and then I was thinking of considering the Overseas Internship but the offers that were being made was in parts of China, like Shanghai, Beijing etc. Why not in India? I ask myself.

I took the initiative forward and approach Rajesh to talk about having an Internship with his company back in 2011 in India. And several other discussions with my faculties and then the internship happened back in 2011.

I dialed the call.

“Hey Rajesh”
“Hey Gary, how are you?”
“I’m fine Rajesh, I just completed my National Service, and yea, Probably we can meet up?”
“Oh, accha, Sure, we will meet, how about this evening?”
“Yes, this evening is good, how about 7pm at your place?”
“Alright, I will see you this evening at my place”


I reached Rajesh’s place at 7pm and even though we haven’t met for the past 2 years, still the barrier is not there, we felt comfortable having each other around.

“Rajesh. so how are you? It’s been two years since we met each other”
“Yes, it’s been two years, but time really flies fast.”
“Yea, how was your national service?”
“It was a good experience Rajesh, I mean, I didn’t think that I would have survive the tough training, but yea, I did it.”
“Good! It’s nice that you survived in one piece.” We both laughed.
“So what’s up now?”
“Sir, I’m currently looking for a job, but I don’t know how will it be for me now”
“Oh, why don’t you come work for me?”
“You are kidding with me right Rajesh?”
“I’m not kidding Gary beta, I mean, you had worked for me before, and I know you are good at it, and it’s my honor to have you in our team.”
“What will be the job scope?”
“Let me draft out the contract, and we will talk again in details?”

On the way back home usually takes 1 hour from Rajesh place, but it seems longer than usual. My mind was thinking of India, a new place that I will be working in, It’s not like I’m not familiar with India, I did work in India for a period of 6 months and consecutively to and fro from India adds up a total of 1 year period.

So back to the question again: “Kya karoon?”

“What? India? No way, i’m gonna disown you if you do that” Mum snarled at me.
“Mum, please listen to me”
“I’m listening.”
“Mum, I know that Singapore is a developed country, it’s a fact and no doubt on it, but let’s don’t compare about the development, I mean Singapore is so developed that I feel that I can’t learn much things here, everyone wants a graduates to be experienced, but how do we even get the experience mum? Yes, I could have gotten a desk job from 9am – 6pm and earn SDD 2500 per month, but mum, this is not the life I want, it’s not a life that I could learn. Whereas in India, I can learn about a lot of things, I can learn as a beginner, I am given the opportunity to do so, then why the discouragement? And that too, the company is doing something good, something that is worth trying.”

“Ask your papa first” She said.

The next day

“Dad, I’m going India to work”
“Why India?”
“Dad, money is not a issue here, the problem is that I get more exposure in India, and the experiential learning that I will be getting from company is way too much to ask for.”
“If you think it’s right, then go, but just be responsible for your own decision and ask mum about it.”


So here I am, flown to India alone, working in a new environment in Pune, India. I’m working in the education sector and I love what I’m doing, like I said, it’s not just a job, it’s a passion, and that too we are contributing to the education sector.

No matter what you do, just think, think of what you want in your life? Do you work for money? or money work for you? do you work for your passion or just work for the sake of working?


The dreams that I have to follow, the passion and direction that I shouldn’t give up so easily

01 November 2009, 2000 hours

“Jump and you will be free Suraj, no one likes you in this world, everyone hates you, everyone thinks that with you around, there’s always trouble, so just jump.”

27 September 2009, 1900 hours

Friend A: “Suraj, can you come my place? I need your notes from the history class.”
Me: “Sure”

Me: “Stop it! What are you doing? *Trying to push him away* Please, please, please don’t do this to me
Me: “No! No! Please! Stop! NO!”

I was raped that night

03 October 2009, 0700 hours

“Why did you spread rumours about me in the school? Who do you think you are?” I was bashed up by my Friend A for things I did not do.

03 October 2009, 0800 hours

Teacher A: “Suraj, you shouldn’t have spread rumours of your classmate (Friend A).
Me: “Believe me Teacher, I did not! It was not me!”
Teacher A: “Still you shouldn’t have done it!”
Me: “He raped me…”

Silence took over

04 October 2009, 0700 Hours

Principal: “Mdm, I understand it’s a very difficult moment for you, but I would suggest you and Suraj to go for the counselling session, you will feel better.”

Mom left the office, she did not spoke to me, she did not.

05 October 2009, 2000 Hours

Mom: “Where have you been? I SAID WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?”
Me: “I was revising in school”
Mom: “Don’t forget what you had done in school!”

Tears rolled down my cheek
Mom: “You come back home from school immediately, do you understand? Answer me! Do you understand?”

I walked away

15 October 2009, 0830 Hours

Friend B: “Hey look at him, it’s so disgusting, he actually spread rumours about Friend A, and he had sex with him.”

Friend C: “Yes! I have heard, so shameless, how can anyone do that?”

Friend D: “So cheap and disgusting, how can he still comes to school?”

16, 17, 18, 19, 20…31 October 2009 and it goes on and on every single day

01 November 2009, 2000 hours

“Jump and you will be free Suraj, no one likes you in this world, everyone hates you, everyone thinks that with you around, there’s always trouble, so just jump, JUMP JUMP!”

“Ring….Ring…Ring…” The melody broke off my inner speaking

I picked up my phone reluctantly.

Me: “Hello?”
Friend E: “Where are you?”
Me: “I’m sitting on the ledge in the carpark of a mall”
Me: “I…I…I don’t want to live anymore..I just want to jump”
Friend E: “Which mall are you located at?”
Me: “The one near our school”
Friend E: “I’m at the mall, you just wait! I’m coming”

1 Minute later she came

Friend E: “What do you think you are doing there? Come down”

Me: *Tears rolled down my cheek* “I don’t want to live anymore, There’s nothing left for me, everyone hates me.”

Friend E: “What are you talking about? Do you think once you jump down from here everything will be alright? Do you think that by doing that you will be free? Think of your parents, do you think they will be fine? Suraj, you are so selfish, you think by jumping down of this building, you will be free, you have no burden, yes! You are right, you have no burden, but you are the burden to your family, how would your family think of you? How would your teacher think of you? They would have thought that it’s their fault that they didn’t notice the stress you were in, your parents would have blame themselves the whole life that it’s their fault that they blame you for everything. What about god? He created you differently from everyone else, and you didn’t cherish your life, you wanted to jump and end everything? Have you ever wonder why this was happening to you? Have you wonder it was a obstacle that you have to go through? Have you ever wonder if you jump what will happen to you? You pray to god for courage, does god give you courage or does god give you the opportunity to gain courage?”

“Think of it Suraj, after all my talking here, I’m standing here, and you are sitting there, do you think it just randomly happened? or was it arranged?”

Me: *There’s still a lot of things I have not done yet, I’m still young, I haven’t gotten my house yet, a house purely decorated and design by me, I have my dreams waiting for me, dreams of building an orphanage, dreams of helping kids globally, giving them clothes, food, education, dreams of building a “Home” for them where they all belong. Why did I even have such action? Why did committing suicide even came to my mind? I was someone with dreams and directions, and then what happen now? How did I even come this far? What will my parents think of it? What if I did jump? What will happen to them?*

*You pray to god for courage, does god give you courage or does god give you the opportunity to gain courage?* This sentence has been portraying in my mind over and over again

Did I? Have I? Would I?

The moment that filled me with optimism and hope for the future, the dreams that I have to follow, the passion and direction that I shouldn’t give up so easily.

I turned back, step off the ledge and ran to my friend. Thank you Dost.

Sponsor’s Link: